My last day here

My last day here in this world and I really don't know that. I woke up in the morning with a bad mood, just because I'm not a morning person. I get in the van in my way to my job, I won't care about the great sunny day, I turn on my music and the morning is only for me. I got the parking near the work and begin to walk to my work place. I still listening music with my cellphone without view my surroundings, I still mad with my friend, I didn't like my friend's joke yesterday in the night. I got to the office and still having my mood, I have a forced smile to my coworkers, I hate them right now, and please don't ask me for my weekend, it is like asking for my ex girlfriend, I had good moments but now I wanna forget it and begin work with my things. It is almost noon I realized that I have to change my mood because it is only on the morning. I go to lunch and it is like a routine, I eat and spent the rest of the lunch watching facebook and some friend's snapchats. I come back to the office and I realize a new person I have never seen before but I follow my path to my office, who cares about him? It's probably another person here.

It was my last day, the flashbacks are coming, I regret saying I'm not a morning person, my bad mood and I wasted the majority of my time watching a stupid smartphone instead sharing with my teammates.


My last day here in this world and I really don't know that. I woke up and I remember that I'am blessed because it is a new day and I still alive. I slept well, thanks to God I'm not on Syria and I'm not scared about every noise of a gunshot or bomb every 30 minutes. It's a good sunny day, I can appreciate the moment I have here, I realized that every minutes, hours, days have to count because only left 6 months here, I will miss them, the conversations, each single person, although I know that I forgot it sometimes because stay with the same person during the 7 days a week. I will come back to the reality of life. I get in the van in my way to the work, the front passenger put good music, we all are singing like we were the Coldplay band, really the 75% of us are bad singers but who cares about it, we are sharing something in common, nobody is here to judge. I got the parking near the work and begin to walk, I look my surroundings for something new, it's look like a normal day but I try to show a little smile to some people that pass around me, you never know if you are changing his day only for that simple gesture. I try to make some joke to get some smiles from my teammates, and yes sometimes I'm childish but I just want a smile from them at any cost, It is lunch time and we meet outside, we share and some tell short stories, at leat I can remember that after my lunch and I didn't forget who I spent watching on facebook in my cellphone. After my lunch I got the courage to claim the coffee that one coworker offer to us, we agreed to lunch together the next day/ I feel satisfy because I dared to do something new and in some way I put myself out of my comfort zone...

It was my last day, the flashbacks are coming and I'm blessed for the beautiful day I had/

A caricature from my friend! My team.

Esto apenas comienza...

La vida me ha regalado grandes momentos inolvidables, grandes personas, grandes experiencias y todavía tengo apenas 25 años. Me pregunto como toda persona que será de mi en los próximos 5 meses, ¿donde estaré? ¿Tomaré la mejor decisión? ¿Estaré todavía viviendo en EU, volveré a Puerto Rico o tomaré otro rumbo? Como todo la vida cuando te preguntas estas ''preguntas'' mayormente son una perdida innecesaria de tiempo, porque si te pones a tratar de contestarlas simplemente traerás preocupación innecesaria, inseguridad y uno que otro dolor de cabeza. He aprendido que por más seguro que estes de dar un paso en el futuro muchas veces no se puede concretar exactamente como lo planeastes, casi siempre se presentan cosas que nunca te imaginastes, a veces malas que te ayudan a crecer, otras veces necesarias que te ayudan a ver las cosas con mas claridad, en cambio otras veces te traen mejores opciones para escoger. Así me encuentro ahora sin poder decir o ver con claridad que voy a terminar haciendo aunque si tengo una idea clara de lo que quiero hacer y hacia donde voy a dirigir mi carrera como profesional de la mano con mi vida personal, porque al final no quiero un trabajo que pague una gran suma de dinero, aunque les mentiria que eso no sería un gran ''plus'', busco un trabajo en que se me olvide que estoy trabajando, en que al final del día el propósito no sea una suma de dinero, sea mi desarrollo personal y mas que nada tener la oportunidad de impactar a otros de una manera a otra, siempre positivamente. Al fin y al cabo desde que tengo uso de razón mi pasión no ha sido otra que poder ayudar a los demás, he perdido la fe muchas veces, he perdido mi norte, me he perdido en mi mismo por los pasado 6 meses pero siempre que me vuelvo a encontrar, siempre esta el deseo innato de poder ayudar. El dinero en esta vida importa pero al final no te da la felicidad a menos que seas un avaricioso de ´´pinche madre'' como diría mi buen amigo mexicano. Quiero viajar el mundo pero eso significaría seguir sacrificando cosas como no ver a mi familia, no visitar mi lugar favorito en Culebra, Puerto Rico, entre otras cosas mas, aunque no puedo negar que las experiencias que eso trae sin duda son inolvidables y muchas veces te ayudan a mirar las situaciones de una perspectiva diferente a la que normalmente la gente lo ve. El martes emprendo la ruta a mis últimos tres meses con AmeriCorps NCCC FEMA Corps, estoy seguro que no será nada fácil pero será tan recomfortante terminarlo y ver cual será el siguiente paso en mi vida, que estoy entusiasmado y como dice el título del blog, esto es apenas es el comienzo de una exitante aventura.

God, Destiny, Karma, Yourself

I would pray to God for a better situation but who am I to ask for that? I would like to see my destiny but I don't want to know the final of this story, I would ask to karma for my positive payback but again, who am I to ask for that when I have food, health and a good bed to sleep. At the final it is only you and the courage you will have to reach the things that you want. Always having God in our hearts because the path isn't easy, doing good because as the people said, Karma is a completely bitch. The destiny, I have my doubts about it but I suppose it is a certain track where we decide whether or not you want to follow it or modified as you want. You believe what you want, leave the other live as they want, at the final only God will be able to judge you.

A jibarito in California

A "jibarito" in California, let me explain first what it is a Jibarito.  The Jibaritos are people in my country whose in the last century had a little education but were very hard workers, almost all of them had strong family values and were honest people. My fathers weren't jibaritos at all but I grew watching and knowing how my humble father has worked 24 years of my life(and counting) and how my mother taught me, since I was a little kid, strong values that still present in my life and make me in part the person who I am. I'm that Jibarito who like to work and have strong values but I had the luck of being educated. I came to California following my heart and without having strong English speaking skills, I feel like a Jibarito that came here to work harder and demonstrate what I'm able to do and reach those goals I put it as a personal improvement. Clearly the changes has been hard and hurt sometimes when you believed that your dog was going to fall in depression without you but according to my mom he is happier than ever, but come back to the serious thing it has been hard being in another culture although we have a big influence of American culture in our country, it has been hard coming with other perspective than others and it has been hard to express myself as I would want. In another hand when I see back and reflect on my three months I can see  how much I have growth, learned and the incredible time I have had here. There a thing that I feel very proud of myself, my inner thoughts haven't changed, I still being the same guy getting experience to make in the future some initiatives and getting back to my country to make a real difference. The past month has been really hard for me because I forgot all the things I have achieved until now, today I could reflect and took again the same path that brought me here, yes it hard being here with all of these situations but these types of situation are shaping me in an excellent way and I don't expect to be free or harder moments, I expect don't take pity of myself  and take every moment to demonstrate the Jibarito that I am.

* #FreeOscarLopez

A little bit

How much have changed in  my last two years. I knew people that have influenced me so much and made me grow in every facet of my life, although I still keeping the same feelings that I have had during my entire life. Every change has come in a good way. If you asked me two years ago what I wanted to do after my graduation I had responded: I want to work with a big company that pay a good salary, but thanks to the divine glorious, my grades weren't so good  because I had very active college nights, too much parties in the week and I didn't take seriously my classes. I was an average student and after my graduation the companies where I sent my resume didn't see me like a potential worker. Jesus Christ, It was the best thing that happened to me now that I remember it,that has helped me to find myself and rethink what I really wanted. Now I'm here in California learning a lot of stuff, doing what I thought it is everyone mission in life, that we are here to make changes and impact others. I have met a lot of people with my same thoughts and feelings, I'm very happy because  that could help me to change and take initiative to help a lot of people in the future in my country. I have changed or maybe not, probably it just that I forgot to follow my path before and I found it again. Deep in my heart I know my potential and believe in me, I know everything is possible in this life and even I can learn to be a professional ballet dancer but don't worry I won't try that, I left that to other.

Without reason

I am here at Pizza Rock waiting for our lunch. I am hearing all my team talking and I feel so lucky of being here in this right moment sharing with this amazing people. I appreciate this moment because I can't know if it is my last moment of happiness. This is why I learned to appreciate every moment no matter if I'm quiet or talking. We don't know that life can take a movement of 180° or worst, we could die on every moment. I'm not worried about dying, I'm worried I won't enjoy every moment, won't get up quickly when I fail and won't take opportunities.